ST. CRETIEN’S COLLEGE
Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary
Benjamin Austen, 1935 -
Fiona Bibble, 1942 – Leader of the arch-
Joseph “Sunny” Boyce, 1890– 1957 Little-
Owen Crack, 1936– 1998 North Norfolk bog-
Penelope Dawes, 1977 -
Otto von Gaukel, 1902 – 1968 Educated between the wars at St. Cretien’s, this divisive figure became Generalfeldmarshall of the German High Command, the Wehrmachtführungsstab, during WWII: despite being on the wrong side, he counts as one of St. Cretien’s most successful alumni! Died whilst in prison in East Berlin
Sir Edmund Gower, 1853 – 1921 Founding member of the notorious Semolina
Club, which rose to prominence in 1903 for publicly advocating a pre-
Margaret Hopes, 1935 -
Orlando Hummus, 1845– 1924 Orientalist and specialist in Middle Eastern affairs, creator of the popular dip made from mashed chickpeas, olive oil and tahini, which he named orlandus, after himself
Neville Hunker, 1879– 1945 Legendary spy during both world wars, who managed to secure details in 1918 of German revolts (during which he lost his right leg), and who was in Japan at the end of the war, helping the Americans to pinpoint their bombing targets
Samuel Kriel, 1844 – 1907 Assistant Secretary to the Home Secretary,
Henry Bruce, 1872-
Salmo Lyttle, 1908– 1981 Ballet impresario with the South Sidcup
Amateur Dramatic Association of Dance; internationally renowned for his infamous
hoof-
Saviour Mandlebatt, 1936 – 1984 Inventor of the modern harness strap for
automatic cow-
Selwyn Massmann, 1944 – 2004 Mountain climber of international repute.
Most recently (July, 2004) climbed Ben Nevis dressed as a dalek, to raise money for
charity. Sadly, this was to be his last climb, as he died of heat-
Dwenge M’Boatang, 1932 -
Yvonne O’Blong, 1950 – Campaigner for improved rights for trees, and instrumental in preventing the destruction of Wendown Woods in 1987
Bulimer Pancras, 1898– 1973 Under-
Sir Brice Tylor, 1878 – 1940 Inventor of the much-
Sammy “Thwack”, 1974 -
Fiippo Tombola, 1892 – 1968 Author and poet. Published a number of
light childrens’ classics, such as The Egg Doctor and When Tigglebacks Went To The
Fairy-
Earnest Wilkes, 1923 – 1990 Composer. Works include light operas and the theme tune to the TV hit Who’s Ya Baby?
Sidney Yowkes, 1967 – Aid worker in Eastern Denmark
Some Notable Old Cretians
There are too many Old Cretians, who have left the school to go on to become lasting figures in the Pantheon of the Great and the Good, to list here, but here are some of the most illustrious and infamous of our alumni!
Spewing out genius into the whole wide world