ST. CRETIEN’S COLLEGE

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Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary

Preparing your child for a dog-eat-dog world

Welcome to St. Cretien’s College! My staff and myself warmly invite you into a school where time-hallowed tradition runs hand in hand with the needs of modern children in the 21st Century. We at St. Cretien’s hold the importance of a young person’s education in the very highest esteem, and believe that these formative years are the crucial time when in many ways an individual can begin to emerge or perceive him or herself to emerge as a young adult, ready to function within society as a fully-fledged member of the wider human community.


Therefore, with this in mind, I feel a certain pride in the way St. Cretien’s fosters a sense of community in which your child can nurture a growing awareness of the world and the people around him or her. In today’s climate, both political and social, there is an urgent need to turn the minds and hearts of our younger generations towards the higher arts of human intercourse and to the civil cohabitation of like-minded, entwined beings within the very lives and existences which we all have the very good fortune to inhabit.


Please do feel free to visit us here at St. Cretien’s, and if you would like to speak with me in person about your son or daughter entering into life here as a Cretian, please do contact us via this website or via normal mail. Please click on my face to see the list of entry requirements.

Dr. Alan Warble BA Cantab, Dip Ed

The identity of Dr. Warble has been concealed, due to recent attacks on his life, and attempts to stalk him at his home in the Head Master’s Lodge, Wellworth Lane, St. Cretien’s College, Sedgwickham  -  Tel:  (01498) 357044

Entry requirements