ST. CRETIEN’S COLLEGE
Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary Paul Holland spoof school St. Cretien’s College fictional school St. Cretian’s imaginary
If only the animals could talk, what tales they’d tell
St. Cretien’s College Farm
St. Cretien’s College has had a fully functioning school farm since it was set up
by a former Latin master, Dennis Pucker, in 1983, and it has since become an integral
part of school life, providing a plentiful supply of fresh eggs, milk, and a variety
of crops and meat. Furthermore
, the farm plays an important role for those pupils
who work on it, enabling them to develop skills and a sense of responsibility which
will go on to serve them well in aspects of later life, especially dealing with bullies.
The farm itself boasts three wonderful friesian cows, named Alexis, Krystle and Fallon, none of whom are in very good health at the moment, despite the attentions of our young bull, Blake. We also have fifteen chickens, who are regularly serviced by our cock, Marco Pollo, and there are also our two resident sows, Britney and Kylie. Recently, St. Cretien’s acquired Albert, a rescue llama, abandoned by a local entrepreneur, and an ostrich, who has proven to be so hostile to everything and everyone around him/her, that we have been obliged to keep it enclosed for its own good in a small cage at the edge of the farm.
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